The Last Celery Salt I will ever buy

Saturday, July 15, 2023

I emptied our previous celery salt several months ago. I wish I could remember what I used it in. I thought I only used it in tuna noodle salad (you know, macaroni and tuna and celery and peas and miracle whip) (and celery salt), but that is a summer thing, so…huh.

I didn’t throw the container away, because I have had it …. a while. We definitely moved it to Minnesota from Wisconsin 30 years ago. Keith has volunteered to throw it away so many times. I shake my head and tell him I use it once a year and it is SALT. Salt doesn’t get old. I have no idea if the celery part gets old. If it does, it has already gotten old and we are over that.

Today, we made tuna noodles because my sister is coming and it is summer. I always make it when she comes and it is summer. I don’t even know for sure if she likes it, but Keith and I do, and we eat it when my sister comes and it is summer. We “needed” celery salt (did we? I don’t know. Does it really matter? Keith insists 30-year-old celery salt doesn’t count at all. He’s probably right), so we added it to the shopping list. It was quite momentous putting it in the cart.

When we made the tuna noodles tonight, I asked where the celery salt was. Keith said he didn’t remember taking it out of the grocery box. I said I didn’t remember putting it in the grocery box.

We forgot it at the store.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I laughed so much. I made Keith call and ask if they knew if we left it behind. I figured it was worth asking, especially since I was making Keith do it.

They did! They said it was back on the shelf, but we should just get it and bring it to the service counter. And so we did. (And we bought a lottery ticket, because you can always use a half billion dollars.)

We used it in the tuna noodles and it made it taste a little weird. Maybe. Keith pointed out that at this rate, this will be the last celery salt I will ever buy. He makes an excellent point. If I need celery salt when I am 90, I will borrow a little from the neighbors.

*******NOW he is pointing out that it is half the size of the original. OBVIOUSLY it is. Look at the picture. The thing is I always just believe everything he says. So now he thinks I will be buying more celery salt when I am 75 and my sister is coming and it is summer. This whole post is a lie. But I won’t remember, because I just make stuff up to remember (apparently. I can’t actually remember doing that).