Wisconsin Dells

Saturday, May 25, 2024

We made a reservation for a two bedroom room in the Dells for a weekend family getaway, but Benjamin and Sean couldn’t come. We scooped Alexander up (so his car was at his house) and set off on our way about noon. Why so late? I don’t know. For some reason, I thought Alexander wanted to leave not early. He thought we were being really weird for not leaving early. Huh.

We crossed into Wisconsin via the Hwy 36 bridge because it is not under construction and is close to Alexander’s house. The direction lady in the car was very random in giving us the way to go. She really seemed to want us to go back to our house and start over, because she kept telling us to turn west at every intersection. Alexander suspected that we weren’t actually going to the Dells, but that it was all part of the long con…and we weren’t his real parents and we were kidnapping him. Since he figured it out, we decided to change it up and just go to the Dells to keep him in the dark. Obviously.

We passed some goats. Alexander hates goats. Keith said it was because of their horizontal rectangular pupils. Alexander said it was because of all goatness. And because their eyes look like hyphens. Then he said he just doesn’t like anything called livestock. His thoughts trickled out over the next several miles.
I don’t like cow hips. Trapezoidal nightmares.
Horses are terrifying. Horse gums are awful. Then they just kick you and you just die.
There was quite a long pause, then
I hate hooves.

We got on I-94 and animal talk waned. Alexander and I both fell asleep. As we approached the Dells, we were talking about New Orleans food. I asked Alexander if he likes red beans and rice. He answered that beans taste like kinetic sand. I guess that no, he doesn’t like red beans and rice.

We arrived at our place. It’s nice. We went to an outside waterpark and looked at the slides. One of the body slides had a 360-degree loop. We watched people go through it. One lady got stopped at the top of the loop and had to scooch herself over the top. Alexander said nope, nope, land of 10,000 nopes. We ran away to another outdoor waterpark. It had more reasonable slides. We lazy rivered, then went down the tube slide and DD did the body slide. We even convinced Keith to do the tube slide. Then they closed and we went to an inside water part.

So much sliding! So good! We jumped in the wave pool. I hypothesized that if I wave pooled every day for two hours I would be FIT. DD thought we would be exhausted and drowned. He made a good point, because after we ate a burger at 9:30pm we were almost too tired to walk back to our room.

Speaking of walking back to our room, this hotel (or series of connected hotels) has LONG hallways. The potd is a section of hallway that came after TEN previous sections of hallway. This place is HUGE!