If it’s Meatloaf, I must be sick

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

When the kids were little, when they saw salmon (which they love) in the refrigerator, they would say, “Where are you going?” I hate fish and I cannot even stand the smell of it cooking, so if I was going to be gone for an evening, I would always buy salmon for my three boys. Keith really likes meatloaf, and it is so meat. loaf. to me. Ick. I don’t know if I’ve ever even had it as an adult. It smells bad, it looks bad, I don’t have to eat it, so I don’t.

Yesterday I got my 5th covid vaccine shot. Shots two, three, and four wiped me out completely. I had a 103+ fever for three days, with body aches that made me curl up and wish I could leave my body. I planned ahead yesterday and made Keith a meatloaf for today, when I knew I wouldn’t be eating. When I went to get my shot, the shooter told me that sometimes there is ache at the injection site and maybe some slight flu-like symptoms. I said I was planning to be out for three days, because that is the way it goes. She stopped her preparations and looked at me. “Do you have to have this for work, or something?” I said no, but I would rather control when and where I am sick – also knowing that it would be a finite amount of time. She shrugged and said, “I guess so. But I am impressed you are willing to do this knowing how bad you are going to feel.”

I was pretty impressed, too. I walked around Sam’s Club afterward, interested in getting myself every treat I wanted. There were no carts (they were all in the parking lot), so we could only get what we could carry in our arms. I ended up only getting pizza rolls, because they were on sale and because I thought it might be something I could in really small quantities as I started feeling better. I reallllly wanted a big box of Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, but that seemed wrong, so I got Keith nice fruit popsicles instead. Because he would need treats after having to take care of me all the days.

And then I didn’t get very sick! WIN!!!!! I had a low fever and felt crummy, but not horrible. I was flat in bed all day, too tired to get up at all. Keith asked how I was feeling, and I said, “Seven. No five. No three. If zero is sick. Zero means you feel bad.” Do you ever think about that scale? What level is your pain – 1 to 10? They ask you that in the hospital. When I had my appendix go wild, I waited in the ED all day. I was hurting so bad; I was just focusing on taking breaths in and out and trying to survive through the next 10 seconds. Other people waiting kept going up and asking the admit people to please take me back. I had already been to the doctor, who said I was having an appendicitis, so it wasn’t like I (and they) didn’t know what was going on. My pain scale includes the ability to be quiet. Max pain but you are not making noise is 7. An 8 gives you some involuntary moaning. At 9, I am making some noise because I cannot deal with it. !0 is pretty much screaming. I mean, doesn’t it have to be that? How could you be sitting there and say, “My pain is at a 10.” At 10, I don’t think you should be able to talk or form very coherent sentences. After I went back, they asked me and I said 7 or 8. There were some sounds coming out, though I was trying to hold on. I heard through the curtain the woman next to me say that her pain was a 10. Apparently, she could sit and chat with her daughter until the doctor came in while being in the worst possible pain. I did not think she was at a 10. (Follow up: after waiting 10 hours after the original doctor’s diagnosis for surgery, my appendix pretty much exploded and I was in the hospital for a week. That’s when I learned that Percocet gives me hallucinations. That is a great story. Another time, maybe…)_