It’s not Even Christmas

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

We went to the Mall of America! When it was Christmastime, we were at the MOA spending money. Well, we were shopping for presents, but you earn Camp Snoopy wristbands or admission to Aquarium World (these are not the actual names of the places. I am not keeping the names secret to protect the innocent, but because I don’t know the actual names) for every $250 you spend. Freeeee stuff. I love free stuff. Anyway, we needed to get to the next level and I suggested getting a gift card for Bubba Gump’s for Alexander because he likes it there. Keith countered with getting us a gift card for Bubba Gump’s and taking Alexander there, because he likes it there, too. Done. With a $50 gift card, you got a bonus $10 (that expires at the end of May). Look! It’s May. And we remembered BEFORE it expired that we needed to use the cards.

We organized with Alexander last week and made a plan to meet at the mall. Well, first he was coming over to our house and riding with us, because his car’s tire has had a slow leak and he was limiting driving until he got it fixed. Then, yesterday, he had time and opportunity and got it fixed (had picked up a small nail. Discount Tire fixed it for FREE! Thanks, Discount Tire!). So, he met us outside Bubba Gump’s. As Keith and I walked into the mall, I confirmed, “You did bring the gift cards, right?”

He did not.

So, then we could eat anywhere. We could have chosen Bubba Gump’s, but we will be back in the next two weeks, so it seemed like we should choose somewhere else.

DD and I sat in the big chair outside Margaritaville and pretended that we were at Universal Orlando and had just ridden a bunch of great roller coasters. Then we got out of the big chair (DD became boneless and just slid up and out. I was….slightly…less graceful) and went to check out the menu at Cadillac Ranch. We stopped at Cowboy Jack’s and read the menu until Alexander pointed out that we were not at Cadillac Ranch. Oh my God, that is making me laugh. I hope he maintains his patience with us as we get even older and more clueless, because he is really very nice to us now. “Excuse me, parents, but we are not actually at Cadillac Ranch’s menu. We are somewhere else. Keep moving.”

Cadillac Ranch was voted eh, so we wandered back toward Margaritaville. We stopped and pondered Rain Forest Cafe, because we like rain. We almost went in, but being as indecisive as people can be, we thought we should go back and check Margaritaville again. Alexander (the most indecisive of us all) picked it and in we went. I had the seafood feast because I thought I was at Bubba Gump’s (apparently). I don’t even like seafood, but it was really just fried with sauce. The tartar sauce was amazing, which is something I did not expect I would ever say. (Also, I like shrimp and it was shrimp. Fried and coconuty and etc. I was really tempted by the Thai chili sauce, and then it was weird and not really a thing. But the tartar sauce was crazy good). Keith had jambalaya and Alexander had shrimp and grits. They were in New Orleans, I guess. Margaritaville must really feel like a vacation.

Then we took Alexander shoe shopping, because his shoes have big holes and have been worn out FOR A YEAR. He hated it. Poor Alexander. They do not make shoes that are comfortable and completely void of any decoration or attractiveness. He would like socks with a sole. Or something. I was helping by saying, “Shooooooooooe,” while holding up a non-descript shoe (in other words, not helping AT ALL) when Benjamin called. CALLED. How weird was that?

He called to say that he had had to call 911 today. I thought I responded appropriately by saying, “Is everyone alright?” He did not answer appropriately by saying, “I don’t know.”

WHAT?!

He was sitting on the bed, petting the kitty, when something went BOOOOOM. He ran outside and a house in the next block had exploded.

EXPLODED.

He was first out on the street and quickly dialed 911. He said his hands were not shaking. My hands would have been SHAKING. We have no further information on what happened. As the street filled with people and sirens could be heard in the distance, he headed back home, unwilling to add to the crowd. He is a very poor gawker.