My thumbs are okay

Warning: this story includes an injury and a hospital trip. If you don’t like such things, just look at the picture and move on.

A long time ago, (I have to guess about 17 years ago, but I have no actual idea) I cut a chunk of my thumb off using a mandolin cutter (the size of a dime, twice as thick as a nickel – so not big, but bigger than you want to cut off) (I want none off, to be clear). I was not using the guard (obviously), and I was slicing onions. Why wasn’t I using the guard? Utter stupidity. I was cutting large onions and the onion wouldn’t stay on the guard. I thought I could cut a bit of the onion, until it got smaller, then use the guard. That probably would have been fine, except I cut my thumb before switching over.

I grabbed the spot that got cut immediately and there was no blood. I screeched and sat at the table, holding it very tightly. I imagined I would hold it long, long, long – until it coagulated and stopped bleeding (even though it wasn’t actually bleeding). As I sat there, I wondered how I would know when it was done bleeding, because it wasn’t actually bleeding to see that it was bleeding.

Keith arrived. I explained the situation. He said, “We should go to the hospital.” I re-explained the situation – including my master plan. It was sting-y (not stingy, which would mean it wasn’t willing to spend money on me, but it is a thumb, so it has no money), but it didn’t hurt.

We sat for a while. Keith would say, “Let’s go to the hospital.” I would say, “I’m holding it”.

Eventually, we went to the hospital. I can’t remember what made me decide. I didn’t know that he had a piece of my thumb in a ziploc bag on ice until we got there. I did not pass out when I found out. That amazes me now. (Maybe I did know at home. Maybe that is how he got me to go to the hospital. That actually makes a lot of sense, since I was pretty solid on my plan.) It wasn’t a very big piece, and they couldn’t put it back on because it went through the nail. (Accept that like I did at the time. I don’t know what it means.)

I had a giant bandage for quite a while. Eventually, the missing bit of thumb grew back. It took years (close to five, as I recall) for it to completely grown back the fingerprint. It still hurts if I tap it.

Anyway, I was making French Onion and Beef Strudel when it happened. Today, I made French Onion and Beef Strudel for the first time since then. It was delicious. Keith cut the onions.