NERRRRDS

Our trek across Switzerland yesterday was just to get to Geneva so we could go to CERN – the European Organization for Nuclear Research. When we were planning this trip, Keith decided we would fly home from Zurich, because we have never been to Switzerland. It was up to me to think up what we would do while we were in Switzerland. I thought of CERN, because we are nerds, and our biggest nerd is a physics nerd.

We slept slept slept last night. It was nice and cool. It was actually incredible. I set the alarm for 9am – and even thought I don’t think I have gotten more than 5.5 hours of sleep any night this trip, I didn’t think I was tired enough to sleep 8 whole hours. I woke up at 7 and GOT BACK TO SLEEP! Total win! We called an Uber and went to CERN.

There was a line coming out the door at the visitors’ center. We got in line. We moved in out of the sun pretty quickly. It was hot inside (95degrees today), but so much better when the sun wasn’t beating on you. After a little bit, a man came and asked us if we spoke French (knowing “Do you speak French?” in French is so handy because you can look like a deer in headlights and stammer no. He then said that the next tour was in French, so French speakers would have to go ahead of us. Of course). We were next in line and they came to tell us the next English tour was at 3pm and that we could register for that at 1pm. It was 12:05. Well. That all just sounded like…waiting. Suzanne and Tony from England were behind us. Tony and Keith went to see some of the exhibits while we held our ground. Thank heavens for Suzanne, because there was a big skylight above us, and I think I would have just melted away without her to distract me.

We got signed up at 1 (wrote our names, birthdates, and place of birth on a form and were told to come back at 2:45). Keith had read online that there was a restaurant onsite, so I suggested we go there. We tried mapping it and walked one way, then the other way. There is new visitor center construction in the way. We (Keith) went in to ask. Nope. Restaurant is for employees only. Keith suggested a bag of chips from the vending machine. I suggested the gas station up the street. It was blizzard-y cold inside the store and I wondered how we could peruse the offerings for hours (when there were two aisles total). We made timely choices and went out to the table outside to eat. Everything was really good – especially the chips. I think I was chip starved. Every time we stopped at a rest area on the bus, people would load up on chips and I have been craving them. Nothing better than fulfilling a craving!!

We visited the domed building exhibits – quite interesting. I was getting an idea of what the large Hadron collider did.

We shopped and I got a Tshirt that is too small. I didn’t know that when I bought it (of course), so I will have to lose a bunch of weight when I get home to wear my new shirt. Nothing wrong with that.

Then it was tour time. Our guide was a woman (I would call her a girl, because she looked about 22, but that would be inappropriate. She had on a super cute skirt. I didn’t take her picture because I never like to take people’s picture without permission and it is so awkward to ask permission) from South Africa who is there working on her PhD. She said that because she is there working on her PhD she has to work a job, without getting paid. She monitors one of the computers that need to be monitored at all times for the LHC. I have no idea what needs to be monitored. Couldn’t something be set up to monitor them? I don’t know anything about colliders or monitoring computers. That is showing right now. She also must give tours, because, ya know, she was.

She was explaining how the collider smashed groups of (okay – now here’s the thing. I just asked Keith to make sure that they were smashing protons. He said yes, protons. He said groups of 11. I said 11 billion. We are agreeing to disagree. You can look it up if you want. I’m just going to go with “between 11 and 11,000,000,000”) protons (it could have been electrons and quarks, but I’m pretty sure it was protons. I trained across Switzerland to do this and obviously learned very little. Keith said protons. But he also said 11. Eleven is making me laugh so hard. It might be right, but I think it sounds ridiculous) into each other. She said, “what do you get when you smash protons together? Do you get a cake? (I laughed. No one else did. Nerds.) She continued, “You might get a cake, because we DON’T KNOW! That’s why we are doing it!

There was a Lego model of the ATLAS project and that was awesome. Legos are awesome.

We were learning (in some air conditioning. I say some because when you walk in, it feels FANTASTIC, then in 3 minutes you are sweating again)(we had been standing outside for about the first 20 minutes of the tour. 95 and science. It’s hard)(think about it. They are splitting atoms and smashing them, and figuring out how to build great Legos, and yet they don’t seem to get how to make indoors coolers)(they have to be really tough and also really caring about the environment. I care. I don’t use the AC very often at all, but I have a pool. Which I go in. Which I thought about going in A LOT over the past two days), standing by the Legos, and she flipped a switch and suddenly a frosted glass wall became clear and we could see the command center for the ATLAS project. There they were, monitoring computers. One guy looked like he was sleeping, but he wasn’t. I was pretty excited. I felt like we were just starting the movie Independence Day. I took a picture for you, then I took another one with me in it, so you would know I was there.

As we went upstairs (not air conditioned) we passed the door to the control room. No AC in there either – the door to the outside was propped open as well as the door to the center. We watched a 3D movie about colliding. It was interesting. I did not fall asleep during the 1 minute long credits. It was just a long blink.

We did the exhibits in the basement of the visitor’s center. Very enjoyable. Bottomline, we did not get to actually go down (100m below ground; six levels) and collide anything. Our guide has never been to actually see it, either.

It took over half an hour to get an Uber to pick us up. Our driver is from San Diego and his wife is Swiss and has him stuck there (15 years). I asked him to name 2 things that are better in Switzerland than in the US and he said, “nothing! It’s too expensive, and the people are stand off-ish and boring.” I used quotation marks, but that isn’t a direct quote. He waited while we grabbed our luggage at the hotel and then took us to the train.

The train station was NOT as busy as any of the stations we were in yesterday. We had a ticket on a direct trip to Zurich. One train – 3.5 hours. Today everything was in French, German, and English – yesterday was just French. Huh. I heard them say something about 8 cars going to Zurich and asked Keith what was up. He heard nothing. I heard something again, but the announcements are VERY mumbly. I thought if what I was hearing was true, at some point they would say get out of car 12 or we are leaving you behind. Seemed reasonable. Keith was watching the monitors and said he thought we missed it in Bern, because Zurich airport was no longer on the list. We could get off an Zurich main station, it would just be a longer ride to the hotel. Okay. I heard something. Eventually, the conductor came by and said the split would happen at Zurich main and we just needed to jump out and hurry up to the front of the train then. We could do it at any stop, but we had a car to ourselves and it was crowded up front, so wait until the end. I tried to take pictures of Switzerland out the window, but again, not a good time of day. It is very pretty in real life.

Once we got to Zurich airport, we did some kind of comedy routine of idiots trying to find their way out of a building. While we were trying to get Uber to work, a taxi guy came up and said he would take us for 20franc. Okay. Our room is nice. The window is open. It occurred to me to look for a window to open because when I checked this morning’s view, I found a window to open. So great. It is 78 out. It feels fantastic. Our room is nice. Our leftover cookies melted.