Student Stuff

A kid walked in first thing in the morning and announced, “It smells like the first day of school in here!” (New air freshener scent?)

I always ask the kids a random question about me – winner gets to take the attendance slip to the office. I have been bopping around the same kids quite a bit lately and pick a number (the number is always 8), and questions about my travels are not cutting it anymore, because they know the answers. I suggested someone in class come up with a question only I would know the answer to. In every class, hands shot up so fast and in 4 out of 5 classes, the first kid I randomly picked struggled and had no idea what a question might be. Huh. I got how many years ago did I get my ears pierced – which I thought was pretty random and great. The next hour I got how many pairs of prescription glasses do I own. I said, “Okay, let me think.” Two kids (TWO!) yelled, “You can’t do that! You’re cheating!” I gave the slip to the girl close to me who laughed at that ridiculousness and moved on. Best question was how many pets do you have? Now, that seemed like it would end quickly and not give enough people chances, so I entered a caveat – if I had fish, each fish counted individually. It went a long time until someone guessed zero. (Sad pet-free life/happy travel-full life.)

A kid stopped by between classes to ask what we were doing in class. I said, “Factoring polynomials. It’s fun. A little game.” His response? “Excellent. We get to feel bliss.”

It was the first day of a probability unit for some. We were talking about games of chance. I said, “What if I say you win if you roll a six,” interrupted by a sincere, “What do we win?!” We talked about impossible v certain. A kid tossed his pencil up over his head and said, “It is certain that this will land behind me.” When it landed in his hood and completely disappeared from him, the look on his face was absolutely priceless.

“I have to walk my dishes. Oh. That’s not what I meant.” It even happens to the young!!

“My dad coughs exclamation marks.”

“I didn’t get picked for student council. It’s because I’m short. Those people are height-ists.”

A couple boys were pulling on a pencil case and asked what they were doing. “He keeps taking my compass, then he stabs me with it.” I pointed out to the other boy that both stealing and stabbing were bad. No stealing and/or stabbing. Within a minute, he said to the kid next to him, “I hope your gramma falls down the stairs.” The class erupted. He at least tried to backpedal, “And she doesn’t get hurt.” Within another minute, he said something about cancer that got the kids around him ooooh-ing. Another kid asked, “How do these things even come up?!” I could not have asked a better question.

My favorite teacher to sub for has an alphabetical list for each class with a chart they need to check if they leave the room. Each kid can only leave two times in a week – once you have two check marks you are not going anywhere. I absolutely love it because kids love to leave for a sub (and I absolutely never want to tell someone they can’t use the restroom if they need to) and a lot of wandering happens. This chart is not just for subs – she uses it all the time, so they are very familiar. What is interesting to me is that they can’t find their names. It is alphabetized by their last names, and they run a finger up and down and up and down with no apparent ability to notice/use the alphabetical-ness. It makes sense. They don’t learn to alphabetize anymore. They don’t ever use a dictionary, they just look things up on their phones. Another thing lost to technology.

I inadvertently gave a student two worksheets (stuck together). After working for at least 5 minutes, the sheets came apart, and he sincerely asked if he had to do two. Mmmm. No.

The greatest bit of technology that has entered my life in recent times is the classroom microphone. I couldn’t love it more. There have been sooooooooooooo many times when it is so loud I can absolutely not be loud enough to be heard over the crowd. Those are bad times for me. Now, I can just talk and always be heard. That is great and wonderful and fabulous for all the teaching/learning times. My favorite times are when it isn’t very loud and I just whisper reminders (we have five minutes left, remember minus a negative is plus a positive, this worksheet has two sides) and the kids look around, like where is that coming from? I don’t know why – I don’t do it to make that happen, I just don’t want to be a big interruption – but it gives me a smile every time it happens.

I know kids just like to write on the board and they are very, very willing to try to win favors any way they can, but I figured today’s picture was better than just another picture of a classroom.