The not so bitsy Spider

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

I was working in an elementary library today, walking around the tables of second graders, helping them fill out facts about animals, when I saw a big spider on the ground. A really pretty darned big spider. I got a jolt when I saw it. The thing about spiders is that they get their overall size by including their legs, because, obviously, their legs are part of their overall size. Spiders are generally pretty creepy to me, but spiders with big bodies and short, stocky legs really creep me out. This spider fit that description.

Luckily, no second grader had noticed, but that would have been chaos. It was chaos a couple weeks ago when a kid found an ant (AN ANT) walking along the hall. I got a tissue and was ready to step on the spider when I realized it was a Lego spider. Gahhhh. Stupid Lego spider scaring me – well, yay, Lego spider scaring me instead of real spider scaring me. I tossed it on the counter to put away later.

No more than three minutes later, the big, scary spider on the counter made me jump. Gahhhh. At that point, I had to tell the second graders and they were VERY happy that I was scared by the spider – aren’t I fun?

Today, I had a bunch of supplies to take to the afternoon elementary school. I unlocked the front car door and held onto it, waiting for all of the doors to unlock. I’ve never done it before. I just drive myself. I thought maybe it had happened, so while balancing all my supplies with my left hand against my hip, I reached out and grabbed the back door handle – WHERE THERE WAS A GREAT BIG REAL SPIDER SCARING ME. GAHHHHHH. Stupid, big real spider scaring me. I am so very thankful that I did not drop all of the many art supplies I was carrying.

I had the wherewithal to realize the photo opportunity before I took my shoe off and squashed him. I am a believer in letting the scaries live if they are out in nature, but I was just done with being scared by spiders.